REVIEW: A Very Minty Christmas

Reviewer: Armored Werewolf

I already talked about My Little Pony as a whole on my REVIEW: My Little Pony page. But this film from generation 3 must be the worst episode/movie in the entire series. I was going to do this earlier, but hey, better late than never.

This film has everything bad about generation 3. Lazy animation, bad voice acting, bland visuals, forced in songs, and a lot more problems. Not to mention, the characters constantly stare at the camera in this borderline unsettling fashion. Did I just sit through a kid's film or a horror movie?

To be fair the opening song isn't that bad. Sure, it is bland and the lyrics kinda suck. But with a few changes, it could sound great. I can assume it is called "What I love about Christmas," because that one part plays after almost every damn sentence. The song drags on, and on.

I'm not sure if this crosses into the other episodes, but every pony has the same face and hairstyle. Speaking of characters, the generation 3 intro shows all the main characters, they play very little purpose in this episode. And half of them, don't even appear. It's common in Friendship is Magic (G4) to do this, but at least they get mentioned or have a minor appearance.

Apparently, the tallest tree in all of Ponyville is the Christmas tree. This tree also has the strangest decoration on the top. Instead of a star, it has a large candy cane. Although, the candy cane is used to emit a light through clouds to help Santa find Ponyville. So either Rudolph is dead or he wasn't hired at the time.

One of the characters named Rainbow Dash (no, not the one from generation 4) has a questionable line. "Oh darling, you can never have too much of something you love". According to this show, alcohol poisoning, fire hazards, and diabetes don't exist. Sure, teach kids the lessons about there is no such thing as too much. I swear if someone actually listened to this shitty line.

Minty decides to be Santa and begins to give ponies socks, remember that. Another song comes up. Now, the first song kinda sucked, but the second one was notably terrible. No, I am not joking when I say the character Minty literally begins singing about...socks. God damn, all out of ideas so start to sing on how socks will help you be cozy. "When Winter is turning your nosey a little frozey, socks will make you feel be cozy." First off, logic is questioned here. So apparently if you walk out into a blizzard naked except for socks, you will be okay. Yeah didn't work sadly. Secondly, what the hell kind of english is this? "Make you feel be cozy," either this was an outtake left in, or this was intentional bad english. Well, no English me very well.....what?

So Minty is obsessed with socks and eventually reaches Pinkie's house after that horrible song. She puts a sock on the tree for some reason. She takes it off and looks at a fireplace. If you guessed a stocking reference, you were right. Pinkie then catches Minty. She should be arrested for trespassing but whatever. I guess this LSD infested world has no laws. "What's wrong with the real santa?" Pinkie asks. "Broken." Minty answers. So is Broken Matt really Santa- "You broke Santa?" After that line, I banged my head into my laptop so hard I needed a head replacement. Pinkie says there is a way to fix it, by going to the North Pole and finding Santa.

Minty takes a hot air balloon and flies it right into the Christmas tree. The only pegasus in the episode named... Thistle Whistle tries to take Minty back. "Maybe we should just forget the North Pole," keep that line in mind. More balloons leave town and begin to follow Minty. We then cut back to Thistle who says "maybe we should just forget the North Pole". Yeah, they used the same line twice. The balloon gets stuck on a conveniently placed broken tree hanging off the side of a goddamn cliff. The landscape is really that poorly made where trees are growing off sideways rocks above clouds.

After some pointless scenes, we arrive at the North Pole. "Oh look how darling darlings, this truly is the most magical place in the world," am I supposed to say anything? Minty begins to talk but for some ungodly reason, Pinkie's voice is being played. Magical horse hugs clear up the sky, and a trip back home appears. But get this, they took the scene where the other balloons follow Minty, but they mirrored the footage. Oh and Santa says he is using the stocking idea.

More forced singing, ending plot that ends with no real story or structure, and a repeat of the first song...dear lord this was terrible. Now, if you REALLY want to endure the torture I put myself through, you can find this on Dailymotion. Thank you Dailymotion and Hasbro for supplying me with all the MLP goods (and crap) so I was able to do this.

Just a heads up, you may want to go to church after watching this because of all the demonic stares.