REVIEW: So Many Different Ways to Play

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Reviewer: Armored Werewolf

In my Over Two Rainbows review, I said I won't be doing this. But, here we go. This is the first (and second to last) episode of Newborn Cuties, a 2 episode online series of the already terrible Generation 3 of My Little Pony. Yeah, this aired on the internet but was officially made by Hasbro. If this actually came on television, I wonder how many cases of people going insane would happen.

Anyways, the intro has literally just music. No sounds, no voices, nothing. We see a sun with a smiley face rise up. Okay, who's getting Teletubbies flashbacks? At least this episode actually has sounds unlike Over Two Rainbows. But even then, who the hell was behind the sounds? Butterflies chirping...WHAT? This episode stars Pinkie Pie, Scootaloo, and Cheerilee.

We also see another pony with no name that appears to be Cheerilee and Scootaloo's mother- WAIT. Generation 4 depicts Scootaloo as a young pony, not as young as this but still around kid age. And Cheerilee is a teacher. If they really come from the same family, the timeline doesn't make any sense. For one, both of them are newborn, and in generation 4, only Cheerilee aged. Oh who am I kidding this aired before generation 4, I'm looking too far into it. If I try to do a timeline, I would go insane.

We start off with a tea party with stuffed animals. Because apparently every kid had fake tea parties with stuffed animals. Also can I just nitpick the laws of psychics? Scootaloo jumps on a stuffed bear, and begins bouncing. How much force does that thing have? This about as ridiculous as Pinkie in generation 4, the laws of physics and the fourth wall beg for mercy.

Am I the only one who finds this to be legitimately unsettling? The way the ponies walk and their faces just look...strange. They're always overly happy like those dog smiling pictures (no not Smile Dog). And the way they talk, it sounds like they have...problems.